Meet columnist, author, and TV personality, Michael Alvear. As the co-host of HBO’s The Sex Inspectors, television’s first sex makeover series, Michael shows couples how to have the kind of wall-socket sex that lights up the whole neighborhood!

If You're Looking For Warmth And Compassion About Your Sexual Worries, You Picked The Wrong Book...

Yes, you'll get all your burning and why-is-it-burning questions answered, but the advice is coming from a son-of-a-bitch with a breathtaking gift for the gratuitous insult.

In these pages, you'll find medical answers to everything from how you can ejaculate farther to how you can take--ahem--more cargo on your loading dock. Alvear answers questions with the compassion of a caffeine addict out of coffee, lining up a panel of doctors and psychologists against the wall and beating the truth out of them. The result is a marriage of impeccably accurate information, politically incorrect opinion and withering sarcasm.

Because the questions come from gay men all over the country, they're like a peephole into the anxieties, concerns and worries that gay men have about sex.

Here's a sampling of what you'll learn:

... Only 6% of the population need extra-large condoms. Get over it.

... The average erect penis is 5. I" long and 4.8" around. Unless you're in a chat room. Then double it.

... Kegel exercises will give you harder hard-ons and more powerful orgasms. But then, so will an 18-year-old.

... 50% of men on anti-depressants experience sexual side effects.

And no, having an affair is not considered a side effect you can blame on medicine.

With buzz-saw wit, Men Are Pigs, But We Love Bacon will leave you laughing, howling, and knowing everything you need to know about sex.