By now I expected to be a seasoned parish minister, wearing black clergy shirts grown gray from frequent washing. I expected to love the children who hung on my legs after Sunday morning services until they grew up and had children of their own. I even expected to be buried wearing the same red vestments in which I was ordained. Today those vestments are hanging in the sacristy of an Anglican church in Kenya, my church pension is frozen, and I am as likely to spend Sunday mornings with friendly Quakers, Presbyterians, or Congregationalists as I am with the Episcopalians who remain my closest kin. Some-times I even keep the Sabbath with a cup of steaming Assam tea on my front porch, watching towhees vie for the highest perch in the poplar tree while God watches me. These days I earn my living teaching school, not leading worship, and while I still dream of opening a small restaurant in Clarkesville or volunteering at an eye clinic in Nepal, there is no guarantee that I will not run off with the circus before I am through. This is not the life I planned, or the life I recommend to others. But it is the life that has turned out to be mine, and the central revelation in it for me -- that the call to serve God is first and last the call to be fully human -- seems important enough to witness to on paper. This book is my attempt to do that. After nine years serving on the staff of a big urban church in Atlanta, Barbara Brown Taylor arrives in rural Clarkesville, Georgia (population 1,500), following her dream to become the pastor of her own small congregation. The adjustment from city life to country dweller is something of a shock -- Taylor is one of the only professional women in the community -- but small-town life offers many of its own unique joys. Taylor has five successful years that see significant growth in the church she serves, but ultimately she finds herself experiencing "compassion fatigue" and wonders what exactly God has called her to do. She realizes that in order to keep her faith she may have to leave. Taylor describes a rich spiritual journey in which God has given her more questions than answers. As she becomes part of the flock instead of the shepherd, she describes her poignant and sincere struggle to regain her footing in the world without her defining collar. Taylor's realization that this may in fact be God's surprising path for her leads her to a refreshing search to find Him in new places. Leaving Church will remind even the most skeptical among us that life is about both disappointment and hope -- and ultimately, renewal.
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读完这本书,我感觉自己仿佛完成了一次漫长的、无人陪伴的心理治疗。它以一种近乎冷峻的冷静,揭示了“脱离”的真实成本——那不仅仅是社交圈的损失,更是世界观地图的彻底重绘。作者对“怀疑”和“新知”之间的拉锯战的描写,简直是教科书级别的。书中有一个场景,主角试图用科学的、理性的框架去解释一些过去被神圣化的体验,那种措辞上的小心翼翼和内心的巨大震动,写得入木三分。这本书的魅力在于它的“不提供答案”,它只是忠实地记录下探索的过程,将所有的选择权都交还给了读者。这要求读者必须投入极大的精神能量去与之互动,但回报也是巨大的——你会发现自己对“真实”的定义被拓宽了。书中的环境描写也很有特色,总是在宏大叙事和具体场景之间切换,让人感觉主角既是历史洪流中的一粒沙,又是个体体验的中心。
评分这本小说简直是一场心灵的过山车,作者以一种近乎残忍的坦诚,剖开了信仰崩塌后那种空洞而又充满挣扎的状态。它不是那种简单地告诉你“去信还是不信”的读物,而是深入描绘了那种当你赖以生存的结构开始瓦解时,世界如何一片片地剥落。我尤其欣赏作者对内心独白的处理,那些细微的、几乎不为人察觉的自我怀疑和道德重塑的阵痛,被描绘得淋漓尽致。叙事节奏把握得极好,时而急促如逃亡,时而又缓慢到仿佛时间凝滞,让你能充分体会到主角那种被困在记忆与现实夹缝中的无助感。书中对人际关系的刻画也极其真实,那些曾经紧密联系的社群纽带,在信仰松动后变得多么脆弱易碎。它迫使读者反思自己生命中哪些支撑是真实的,哪些不过是习惯性的依附。读完后,我的内心久久不能平静,感觉像经历了一次深刻的自我清理,虽然过程痛苦,但留下的却是前所未有的清晰感。这本书的文字本身就带着一种力量,既有古典文学的厚重感,又不失现代意识流的锐利。
评分这本书的文学价值远超一般意义上的“主题小说”,它更像是一部关于语言和身份重构的实验报告。我被作者驾驭语言的能力深深折服,那些描述内心挣扎的段落,充满了哲学的思辨和诗意的张力,句子结构多变,从简练到繁复,完美地呼应了主角心境的起伏。更难能可贵的是,作者并没有将那些曾经的信仰体系妖魔化,而是用一种近乎尊重的态度去解构它,承认了它曾经提供的秩序和慰藉的价值,这使得整部作品的立场显得非常成熟和复杂。它探讨的是一个普世的困境:当旧的意义系统失效后,我们如何从零开始,为自己编织一套新的价值体系来抵御虚无。阅读过程中,我常常停下来思考,作者是如何在如此宏大的命题下,依然保持着对人物情感最微小的捕捉的。这是一种罕见的平衡,既有思想的穿透力,又不失人性的温度。
评分老实说,当我翻开这本书时,我预想的是一篇充满激进批判的宣言,但出乎意料的是,它提供的是一幅关于“流放”的精美画卷。它没有急于下定论,反而将大量的篇幅投入到了对“家”的重新定义上。主角在寻找新立足点的过程中,所展现出的那种既渴望归属感又恐惧再次被束缚的矛盾心理,简直太触动我了。作者的笔触细腻到仿佛能触摸到那些尘封的旧物和褪色的记忆,每一个细节都承载着沉甸甸的情感重量。特别是书中对于“社区”的消解过程的描绘,它不是一蹴而就的断裂,而是漫长、缓慢、充满不舍的渗透性瓦解,就像潮水慢慢退去,留下光秃秃的滩涂。这使得整个阅读体验充满了宿命的悲凉感,但同时又蕴含着一种重生的希望——尽管那希望是带着伤疤的。这本书的结构非常巧妙,它不断地在时间和空间中跳跃,但最终总能回到那个核心的情感锚点,让人在迷失中找到方向。
评分这本书的叙事节奏像极了夜晚的漫步,起初是熟悉的街道,带着温暖的回忆光晕,但越走越深,光线越发稀薄,最终你发现自己置身于一个完全陌生的领域,那里寒冷、空旷,却也无比辽阔。我特别欣赏作者对于“失落感”的艺术化处理,它不是一味地渲染悲情,而是将其转化为一种清醒的力量。书中的人物对话极其精妙,很多时候,真正重要的信息都隐藏在那些没有说出口的停顿和言语的边缘。它迫使我放慢阅读速度,去解码这些潜台词。关于“身份认同”的探讨非常深入,作者展示了当一个人失去了外界赋予的标签后,是多么艰难地去与自己内在的本质进行对话。与其说这是一本关于“离开”的书,不如说它是一本关于“重新构建”的书,而且这个构建过程充满了痛苦的、必要的阵痛。阅读体验是沉浸式的,看完之后,需要时间来整理思绪,让那些新生的观点在心底扎根。
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