Table of Contents
Title Page
Introduction
CHAPTER 1 - What Is a Healthy Couple Anyway?
Why Are Relationships So Important to Us?
CHAPTER 2 - Relationship Stages
Using a Stages Model
CHAPTER 3 - The Challenge of Separateness and Togetherness
Personal Boundaries
Disappointment
Accepting Differences
CHAPTER 4 - Creating a Climate for Intimacy
Trust and Openness
Balance of Power
Signs of Caring
Quality Time
Shared Goals and Interests
CHAPTER 5 - Understanding Differences
Class
Age
Politics
Values
Spiritual Paths
Differences in Closeness and Power
Dyke Differences
CHAPTER 6 - Communicating
Why Is Good Communication So Important?
Different Communication Styles
Different Perspectives
Improving Your Communication Skills
CHAPTER 7 - Managing Conflict
Asking for What We Want
Conflict Styles
Perpetual Problems
Solvable Problems
Do’s for Addressing Conflicts
A Structure for Dealing with Conflicts
Troubleshooting the Negotiations
The Most Common Couple Conflicts
Addressing Perpetual Problems: Overcoming Gridlock
When Conflict Turns to Violence
CHAPTER 8 - Sex
The Biology of Desire
The Desire Gap
Frequency
Initiation
Why Bother?
Exploring Your Sexual Potential
Ways to Heat Up Your Sex Life
Monogamy/Nonmonogamy
Jealousy
Affairs
CHAPTER 9 - Making Decisions
Decision-Making
Living Arrangements
CHAPTER 10 - More Decisions
Work
Money
Time
Play
CHAPTER 11 - Lesbian Couples with Children
Coming Out/Being Out
How Are We Doing as Parents?
Family Forms
The Family in the Broader Society
CHAPTER 12 - Friends, Family, and Sense of Community
Coming Out
Friends
Family
A Sense of Community
Celebrations and Rituals in Our Lives
CHAPTER 13 - Cross-Cultural/ Cross-Racial Couples
Acculturation
Racism
Adaptations and Expectations
Family and Community Expectations
Falling into Traps
CHAPTER 14 - Recovery and Healing
Incest and Sexual Abuse
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Variations and Combinations
Effects of Abuse on the Partner and the Relationship
Chemical Dependencies
CHAPTER 15 - Disability and Chronic Illness
What Is a Disability? What Is a Chronic Illness?
The Impact of Disability and Chronic Illness on the Couple Relationship
Pain
Self-Esteem and Internalized Oppression
Children, Work, and Independence
Support Systems
Sex
Suggestions and Hints
CHAPTER 16 - Later Life
How Old Is Older?
What’s History Got to Do with It?
How Out to Be
Social Support
Community
Sex and Intimacy
Work and Retirement
Menopause
Health
Spousal Rights
The Future
CHAPTER 17 - Endings
Divorce—Lesbian Style
Dealing with Loss
When a Partner Dies
CHAPTER 18 - Beginning Again
Understanding the Past
Finding a New Partner
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