Intuitively, people sense that marriage can be the best me-
dium for satisfying their most profound yearning: the need to
10ve and be loved. However, their intuition is shaken severely
by a destructively self-centered world that incites everyone to
compete unceasingly for economic and occupational superior-
ity over others. Today, men and women are very uncertain
about where to place love in their scale of values, and they are
extremely susceptible to the divisive pressures of their individ-
ualistic pursuits. They also lack the knowledge essential to as-
sure their gratification and to resolve the conflicts that inevita-
bly arise between spouses. Burdened by such doubts and
confusion, how is it possible for husbands and wives to pre-
serve and deepen the fulfillments of the love for which they
married?
Our answer to this question has emerged from a long and
intensive study. Naturally, we familiarized ourselves with the
extensive literature on love and marriage. We also drew on
relevant writings in social philosophy, human sexuality, inti-
mate relationships, personality development, and family sys-
tems theory. In addition, we interviewed couples who had
been married for varying lengths of time, taking them step by
step through an open-ended questionnaire we designed for
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