GETTING FIRED，<br >OR "NOT BEING RETAINED"<br >A letter came in the mail from the Vice President of Crucial Events.<br >Though I tried not to open it， it got out of its envelope<br >like a secret agent who slips through a door when no one is looking.<br >The letter regarded me gravel} and took stock of me as if it were an<br >uncle who had not seen me for twenty years.<br >Then it said: "Due to circumstances"--and something else 1 didn t<br > hear--<br >decisions have been made" it said "requiring that<br >and so in accordance with all established procedures you<br >are not being retained in your present position--that is--"<br >the letter took a quick puff of a cigarette<br >and grinned (an engaging grin， like the grin of a movie actor<br >who makes his fortune from his teeth and hair and lovable<br > shoulders)---<br >"That is--" said the letter-- "You re fired!"<br >"Awfully sorry to have to transmit this bad news"<br >the letter added， seeing my dismay，<br >"but that s how things are， you know."<br >1 Wasn t bothered. At least， I didn t think I was.<br >I went into the garden and sat down among<br >my old friends the rhododendrons and drank some coffee.<br >The rhododendrons held out five-fingered clusters like<br >new green stanzas they were writing--"What<br >do you think of this?"--and<br >1 thought well of them and 1 was calm.<br >But in the meantime， while I wasn t looking， the letter<br >took possession of the house. The letter<br >stretched out on the livingroom sofa and asked for a newspaper，<br >which it scrutinized with eyes of steel.<br >