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Book Description
In every workplace there are difficult people who, at best, make life stressful and, at worst, interfere with project and career goals. This book delivers a proven approach to finding common ground and creating a more productive interaction with difficult people.
From the Back Cover
Learn how to disarm problem people, find common ground, and turn conflict into cooperation
In the last decade, technology has spawned a whole new breed of annoyances. From cell-phone chatters to email spammers to voice-mail hogs, life is now increasingly filled with even more difficult people.
At best, such people make life stressful and unpleasant. At worst, they can keep you from achieving important goals. But it's fully within your power to bring out the best behavior in people who are at their worst. The proven, innovative approach in Dealing with Difficult People will help you to:
* Identify 10 bothersome behaviors and deal successfully with each of them
* Understand why people become difficult
* Use sophisticated techniques to neutralize whining, negativity, attacks, tantrums and more
* Cultivate the nine "take-charge" skills that prevent people from becoming difficult
There's no reason to let unpleasant people get in the way of your performance in the workplace or in your life. With the help of these effective approaches to understanding and circumventing disruptive and annoying behavior, you can overcome the obstacles posed by difficult people in every phase of your life.
Difficult people are a fact of life. They blame, barrel over, whine, run away, or explode without notice. And the more you try to work with them, the harder they seem to work to screw up your plans.
The first step in learning how to work with problem people is to discover what makes them tick. Dealing with Difficult People explains where difficult people are coming from, and provides you with specific action steps you can take to neutralize their assaults and work successfully with them. Written by Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman, who teamed up more than 25 years ago to promote the health and well being of individuals, teams, and companies by empowering them with good communication skills, this entertaining and enlightening guidebook details:
* The four general intents that determine how people will react in any situation, and how to use them to understand the roots of a conflict
* Blending skills for reducing differences between yourself and a problem person
* Redirecting skills for using a growing rapport to change the trajectory of a problem interaction
* Personal techniques, from body posture to voice volume, for influencing behavior
* The 10 strategies for the 10 most difficult behaviors
* Projection strategies to motivate problem people to recognize their issues and change themselves
Your life is filled with people who frustrate you, enrage you, and battle with you every step of the way as you work to achieve your project and career goals. It's time you stopped fighting on their terms. Dealing with Difficult People gives you an innovative and psychologically sound program for understanding and working with all types of people, not matter how destructive their behaviors, by proactively using their own internal drivers to disarm them and create more productive interactions.
Book Dimension
length: (cm)20.5 width:(cm)13.2
作者簡介
目錄資訊
讀後感
評分
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用戶評價
這本書的結構設計簡直是教科書級彆的精妙。它沒有采用傳統的“問題-解決”的綫性結構，而是通過一係列精心構建的場景模擬，將讀者帶入一個又一個高壓情境之中。比如，書中對“權力鬥爭型人格”和“受害者情結型人格”的區分，簡直入木三分。前者總是試圖通過控製和打壓來獲得安全感，後者則擅長利用他人的同情心來逃避責任。作者在闡述這兩種類型的行為模式時，所使用的語言和舉例，都帶著一種冷峻的洞察力，讓人不得不佩服作者對人性幽暗麵的深刻理解。讀到處理“權力鬥爭者”的章節時，我立刻想到瞭我部門裏那位喜歡微觀管理的領導，書裏提到瞭一個核心策略——“承認部分事實，但堅定拒絕不閤理要求”，這個技巧的運用，既不傷和氣，又能有效地維護自身立場，非常高明。這本書的價值就在於，它提供的工具箱裏裝的不是錘子，而是精密的螺絲刀和水平儀，需要讀者投入思考和練習，纔能真正發揮作用。它要求你運用智力，而不是蠻力，去化解人際間的張力。
评分說實話，我對這類自助類書籍通常持保留態度，總覺得它們賣的是“速效雞湯”。但**《Dealing With Difficult People》**給我的感覺完全不同。它的行文節奏感非常強，不像有些書那樣冗長拖遝，每一章似乎都在推進一個更深層次的認知。我印象最深的是關於“情緒化處理”的那一部分。它沒有簡單粗暴地告訴你“要保持冷靜”，而是深入剖析瞭情緒的生理機製和傳播路徑。作者引用瞭一些有趣的神經科學小知識，解釋瞭為什麼當我們被挑釁時，大腦會瞬間進入“戰或逃”模式，從而導緻我們無法進行理性溝通。這種科學背後的支撐，讓那些理論聽起來不再是空泛的口號，而是有堅實基礎的策略。我尤其欣賞它在提供應對技巧時的“非對抗性原則”。它強調的不是如何贏下爭吵，而是如何巧妙地設置“邊界”和“緩衝區”，讓衝突不至於升級到互相傷害的地步。讀這本書的過程，更像是一次自我修復和內心武裝的過程，它讓我開始有意識地去觀察自己被觸發時的反應，並嘗試用書中的方法進行微調。這真的讓我意識到，處理棘手人物，首先要處理的是自己的“反應係統”。
评分這本**《Dealing With Difficult People》**，我剛翻瞭幾頁，就被它那種直擊痛點的敘事風格給抓住瞭。它並沒有急著拋齣什麼“萬能公式”，而是非常細膩地描繪瞭我們在日常工作和生活中，那些令人心力交瘁的“難纏”角色。比如，那個總是推卸責任的同事，他總能找到一百個理由來證明“不是我的錯”，讀到這裏，我簡直想拍案叫絕，這不就是我辦公室那位老油條的翻版嗎？作者沒有用那種居高臨下的說教腔調，反而像一個經驗老到的心理谘詢師，帶著同理心去解剖這些復雜的人際互動。書中對“衝突的根源”分析得尤其透徹，它引導你去思考，那些所謂的“難搞”，往往源於對方深層的需求沒有被滿足，或者是一種長期的防禦機製在作祟。它提供的不是簡單的“如何反擊”的戰術手冊，而更像是一張人際關係領域的“地形圖”，讓你在麵對那些讓人血壓飆升的時刻，能夠停下來，先看清地勢，再決定下一步的行動。我特彆喜歡作者在描述不同情境時所展現齣的那種細緻入微的觀察力，每一個案例都仿佛是從現實生活中精心挑選齣來的樣本，真實到讓人感到一絲不安，但也正是這種真實感，纔讓這本書具有瞭強大的實踐指導意義。它教會我的第一課，不是如何改變彆人，而是如何調整我們自己看待問題的濾鏡。
评分我這次閱讀體驗非常獨特，感覺不像是在讀一本職場指南，更像是在研讀一本關於人類行為學的田野調查報告，隻不過這些田野調查的地點都在我們的辦公室和傢庭裏。這本書的語言風格非常注重“行動導嚮”，它很少使用過於學術化的術語，而是大量采用簡潔、有力的動詞短語，讓人讀完後有一種馬上就能付諸實踐的衝動。其中有一段關於“傾聽的藝術”的描述讓我久久不能忘懷。作者指齣，對付那些喋喋不休、沉浸在自己痛苦中的人，最好的方法往往不是提供解決方案，而是提供一個“未被評判的傾聽空間”。這種“被看見”的需求被滿足後，對方的攻擊性或防禦姿態往往會自然瓦解。這徹底顛覆瞭我過去總是急於插話、急於給齣建議的溝通習慣。整本書的論述邏輯嚴密，層層遞進，從識彆到分析，再到策略製定，每一步都設計得非常周到，確保讀者能夠係統地建立起應對復雜人際關係的心理防綫。它真正做到瞭把復雜的人性問題，拆解成瞭可以管理和應對的具體步驟。
评分這本書最讓我感到驚喜的是它對“自我賦權”的強調，這使得它從一本教人“如何對付彆人”的書，升華為一本“如何強大自己”的書。作者非常清晰地論證瞭，當我們試圖去“控製”一個我們認為很難相處的人時，我們實際上已經把自己的情緒控製權交給瞭對方。而這本書的核心思想，似乎是引導我們收迴這份控製權。它提供瞭一套完整的“心理脫敏”練習，教我們如何識彆那些習慣性將負麵情緒投射到我們身上的“能量吸血鬼”。讀到關於如何處理“持續的抱怨者”的那一章節時，作者提齣的“有限的同情窗口”概念非常實用——即，設定一個時間段來傾聽和錶示理解，時間一到，就溫和但堅定地引導對話轉嚮建設性的方嚮。這種平衡的藝術，既保留瞭人應有的體諒，又避免瞭自己被無休止的負麵情緒所吞噬，堪稱高情商的自我保護策略。總而言之，這是一本將深刻的心理洞察與高度可操作性的技巧完美結閤的佳作，讀完後感覺世界並沒有變得更簡單，但處理它的能力無疑強大瞭許多。
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