Newport, September I925

nce upon a time long ago 1 lay in my crib at Sandy

Point Farm while my father lay in the next room dying.

This is what I believe happened what over and over

again I ve dreamed happened. The footsteps running in

the hallways, the doors opening and closing, the voices

signaling to each other come to me at first, before I am

really awake, as sounds of jubilation. Seconds later I know

thai it is night and that something terrible is happening.-

And that 1 can stop it from happening if only I can gel

out of my crib and get to where my father is. Fists tight

together. 1 lie on my back in the darkness unable to do

an3 thing at all to help him. The door to my room opens.

Noise has stopped. Sharp against the light from the hall

is the shadow of my nurse. Dodo. and with her my Grand-

mother Vanderbilt. They draw closer together as they

stand whispering to each other in the silence. Screaming,

I pull myself up against the bars of the crib. still believing

that if I can get to my father I can save him. Dodo picks

me up, rocking me in her arm~ while Grandma pats me.

But I will not stop screaming. And they do not take me

to him. 1 choke on and on. unable to tell them anything

at all...

This must be what happened, or why would the dream

be with me still?