Newport, September I925
nce upon a time long ago 1 lay in my crib at Sandy
Point Farm while my father lay in the next room dying.
This is what I believe happened what over and over
again I ve dreamed happened. The footsteps running in
the hallways, the doors opening and closing, the voices
signaling to each other come to me at first, before I am
really awake, as sounds of jubilation. Seconds later I know
thai it is night and that something terrible is happening.-
And that 1 can stop it from happening if only I can gel
out of my crib and get to where my father is. Fists tight
together. 1 lie on my back in the darkness unable to do
an3 thing at all to help him. The door to my room opens.
Noise has stopped. Sharp against the light from the hall
is the shadow of my nurse. Dodo. and with her my Grand-
mother Vanderbilt. They draw closer together as they
stand whispering to each other in the silence. Screaming,
I pull myself up against the bars of the crib. still believing
that if I can get to my father I can save him. Dodo picks
me up, rocking me in her arm~ while Grandma pats me.
But I will not stop screaming. And they do not take me
to him. 1 choke on and on. unable to tell them anything
at all...
This must be what happened, or why would the dream
be with me still?
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