章节及标题：
1. 兆正离家走上街去的时候，两旁的街灯恰好在那一刻间开始熠熠放亮
他不知道，如能让他从头来过，重经一次生命历程的话，他会不会再去爱？又会去爱谁？
Exactly at the moment when Zhao Zheng left home and set his foot on the street, the lights on both sides of the street started glowing
He wondered, if he could re-start his life and go through it again, whether he will be able to love again, and whom he will then love？
2. 回去少年时
半晌，他才敢偷偷地抬起眼皮来。坐在他前排斜对面的她的半片腮颊落入了他的视线范围内：雪白之中渗透着一种隐隐约约的粉红色，一绺鬓发垂下来，绕过她的耳畔，越过她的耳垂，因此也就超越出了他的视野的疆界。
Back to his Teenage
After a long while, he was able to gather up enough courage to lift his eyelids to steal a look at the profile of her face two rows across in the front: her snow-white skin with a touch of pink, a lock of hair draping down around her ear, over her eardrop, and therefore out of the range of his sight.
3. 兆正所说的“他”，就是我……
我说：当年，能摆脱那种强大漩涡之向心力的与今天能跳出这种虚无潮流的是同一种人。这种人都是极少数，但这种人是成功者。因为历史需要的成功者永远也只是极少数。
The HE that Zhao Zheng mentioned is ME
I said, those who managed to shake off the gravity of the whirlpool of that era, and those who managed to keep away from the illusory trend of today are of the same kind. They are scarce, but they are winners; because winners, as history needs, are always limited.
4. 1964：那条弄堂，那幢洋房，那把带圆柄的阔扶梯
上午十时许，耀眼的阳光从红砖拱窗间射入房来，偶尔有鸽群从窗口间弧飞而过。对马路的厂里正播放第三套工间操的音乐，透过夹竹桃的叶影，能见到一排列队在人行道上的戴工作帽穿蓝白大褂的工厂人员正作出大兜腰的伸展动作。
1964：that alley, that house, that broad stairs with round handrail
Around ten o’clock in the morning, the dazzling sunshine pierced through the redbrick arc window; occasionally some pigeons fluttered curving past the window. In the factory across the street the loudspeaker was broadcasting some exercise music for the recess; through the leaves, one can see workers with caps and overalls in white and blue were stretching their waists.
5. 湛玉和那份月历牌……
湛玉的目光从厨房里退出来，来到了饭厅里。它们扫到了挂在墙上的一幅很普通的月份挂历牌，便随即垂落了下来。
Zhan Yu and that wall calendar
Zhan Yu took her eyes back from the kitchen, and cast them into the dinning room. She shot a glance at that very common calendar hung on the wall, and then dropped her eyes.
6. 复兴别墅：二十世纪五十年代
就这样，我们的小小舞蹈家便经过油站，走进了那条弄堂里。
夏日的晌午，弄堂里安静得不见半个人影。别墅是公寓式的花园洋房，有赭红色的尖顶和矮矮的赭红色的围墙，这一排的前花园对着那一排的后花园。
Fu Xing Villa: in the 50s of Twentieth Century
This way, our little ballerina passed the gas station and walked into that alley.
At the mid noon of the summer, the alley was quiet with no one in sight. The villa was a garden house with dark red pointed top and low dark red walls. The front garden of one house faced the back garden of anther house.
7. 湛玉和我：三十年之前与之后
我们于是分手。待我从墙角转弯处忍不住回望时，她的身影已在夜色中消失，几辆自行车正慢悠悠地从我身旁经过，摇响了车铃。
Zhan Yu and Me: thirty years prior and after
We parted each other on the street. When I walked around the corner of the wall and could not help turning my head around to steal a look at her, her figure had already vanished in the darkness of the night. A few bicycles were slowly passing away, cranking their bells.
8. 白老师的目光
她只知道，记忆有时会将那四束目光缠绕在一起，叫她分辨不清楚：哪两束是兆正的，而哪两束是白老师的。
The look in Mr. Bai’s eyes
She only felt that memories would sometimes blend the four rays from their eyes. She could not distinguish between the two from Zhao Zheng and the two from Mr. Bai.
9. 黄昏，那同一个黄昏
其实，所谓名字，只是人的一个存在符号，是每当提及某某或某某时率先进入说者与听者思想屏幕的一团音容笑貌形态动作的印象拼图而已。莎士比亚说，人叫什么名字其实没什么意义：一种叫玫瑰的花，假如更改了花名，还不一样香？
Twilight, in the same twilight
In fact, the so-called names are nothing but symbols for human existence. When one’s name is mentioned, It is just some bits of impressions of a person pieced together reflected in the mind of the speaker or listener, the bits of one’s face, voice, smile, gesture and manner etc… Shakespeare once mentioned as a matter of fact, the name of a person means nothing; a rose is so called, the aroma still remains even if its name is changed.
10. 拔河赛：兆正变成了我与湛玉间的那根绳索
我向湛玉说：“你我都能从他的作品中读出来的是一种评论家学者和教授们永远也读不出来的感觉：这是一种隐隐的心痛，隐隐的悲哀，隐隐的爱，隐隐的恨，隐隐的决心，隐隐的一些不知名的什么。”
A tug of war: Zhao Zheng became the rope between Zhan Yu and me
Once I said to Zhan Yu,“What you and me can obtain from his literary works is a feeling that neither critics and pundits can ever get. This is a type of faint heartache and grief, lurking love and hate, hidden resolve, and some other inexplicably secrets.”
11. 雨萍•童年•东上海
在这她从小就生活惯了的环境之中，她不明白这一切的一切为什么会突然显得如此新鲜，如此陌生，如此感人，如此就具有了某种异样的生命涵义？
Yu Ping•Childhood•Eastern Shanghai
Here she had got used to all the living conditions since her childhood. She did not understand why all those memories had all of a sudden become so fresh, so unfamiliar, so touching, so imputed with an altered content of life.
12. 两条人生平行线
有时，我真不知道，他是否有意给我们让出了时间和空间？我向湛玉说，真的，我一直有这样的一种预感。
Two parallel lines in life
Sometimes I really wondered if he had chosen to give us the time and space, I said to Zhan Yu. Really, I have such a feeling for a long time.
13. 湛玉眼中的某个1964年初夏的上午
就这么通上的电，欢乐与希望的彩灯一下子全点亮了。就这么一次的这么个瞬间，人生的节日前夜有时比节日之本身更令人难忘。
An early summer morning of 1964 in Zhan Yu’s eyes
So here comes the electricity. The colorful lamps of joy and hope are lit up at that split second. The eve of the holiday of life is sometimes more unforgettable than the holiday itself.
14. 我与湛玉床笫间的一次对话
……在我们青春发育期信仰模式的强行灌铸对应着我们更年期的对价值观剧变的残酷适应。我们一直是落伍者。
A dialogue between Zhan Yu and me in bed
……Just as our beliefs were forged in coercion during our youth, our adaptation to the rapidly changing value during our mid ages is also brutal. We have been dropouts all along.
15. 究竟，那件“千结衫”去了哪儿？
奇怪的是：等到跨过了某个生命阶段的门坎之后，如今，他最想回去看看的又渐渐变为了他从前生活过的那个地方了。人生是个圆周，不知从何时起，他的人生轨迹又在不知不觉中向着它的始点回归了。
Where is that sweater?
Strangely, when he walked past a certain threshold in life, what he most wanted to look at when he returned was actually the place where he had lived before. Life is a circle. From some point in his life, now the track was returning to its starting point before he knew it.
16. 都整整三十年了，但路又是怎么一步一个脚印地走过来的呢？
他说：这是真的吗？在这黄昏的光线中，他的那对乌黑乌黑的眸子深邃悠远得像是一条没有尽端的巷弄。她使劲地点了点头。他一把拥抱住了她：“谢谢你，亲爱的，谢谢你！……”他的声音遥远含糊朦胧得像是梦呓。
A whole thirty-year is gone. But how each and every step has been walked on this road?
He said, is this true? In the twilight, his dark eyes, deep and quiet, were just like an unending alley. She was intensely nodding her head. He grabbed her into his arms. “Thank you, sweetie, thank you！……”His voice was remote, vague and hazy, like dream talk.
17. 让时光再一次倒流。
1968年，1968年的一个清澄的夏夜
谢的故事的后文，那倒是几十年后我再从湛玉那里听说的。后文的场景变成了刑场。他，她，她以及我。于是，便徐徐地织网出一个可以互相贯通的人生故事来，而当一个局外人的谢姓的他突然失足，跌进深渊，他绝望了的惊呼从三十年前的谷底传上来，至今让人听了毛骨悚然。
Let time roll back once more. In the year 1968, a clear summer night of 1968.
The sequel to the story of Mr. Xie was related to me by Zhan Yu several decades later. The scene of the sequel had become the execution field. He, she, she and me then have gradually knit a web of life stories that have connected all of us. While the outsider Mr. Xie suddenly slipped and fell into an abyss, his desperate scream from the bottom of that abyss thirty years ago still echoes up and sends chill feelings down one’s spine even today.
18. 财富的背面
雨萍说，我们不要太多的钱——我们干嘛要很多很多，多得可能一生一世都用不完的钱呢？钱的数额以及用处仅仅是用来过活的——在这条标准线之下，钱的作用是正面的。再超过，钱就会逐渐变质；它会变成了一个掠夺者，钱将本应属于人的很多东西都一一掠夺走了：理想、时光、情趣、宁静的心情，还有良心良知的原始美。
Behind the wealth
Yu Ping said, we don’t want too much money—why do we have to make so much money that we can’t even spend all during our life time? The amount of money and its expense are only for a living—with this standard, the effect of money is positive. If in excess of that standard, money will change its nature. It will become a robber, robbing away a lot of things that should have belonged to us: ideals, time, hobbies, peace of mind, and the original beauty of conscience.
19.那本叫《从丑小鸭到女明星到超级富婆》的畅销书
她赋予了它一种正义性，一种批判性，一种似乎要镇压住某个魔瓶中的邪念不要在一不留神拔瓶塞的刹那间逃逸而出的煞肃性。然而事实还是不容改变：她在第一时间念及的恰恰就是那个“贱女人”。
That popular book 《From an ugly little girl to a movie star and then to a super wealthy woman》
She gave it a sense of righteousness, of criticism, and a force of repression with which she hoped to prevent some evil ideas from erupting out of the magical bottleneck of her heart. Nevertheless, the person that immediately sprang into her mind was that “nasty woman”.
20. 那幢红砖的犹太老洋房：记忆从哪儿始端，也从哪儿隐去
待到她长大成年了，这两个自幼年起就形成了的逆向情结经常会交错轮番地在她的心中上上落落，出出没没，不可捉摸得有时连她自个儿也未必分得清楚什么才是什么。
That redbrick jewish old house: from which memories refreshed and disappeared
As she grew up, those two opposite complexes of her life emerged from the depth of her heart, so hauned, so subtle and so interwoven that even she herself did not know who was who, and what was what.
21. 夜，深沉的夜，房内没点灯
他一个跃身骑了上去（此时，他已经汗流浃背了），只记得那一刻，他觉得自己生平第一次像个凯旋的骑士，高高在上，荣耀回归。
That Night. That deep night. No lights in the room
He leapt on (even though he was already sweating all over). What he only remembered was that for the first time in his life he felt like a triumphant knight, riding high and returning in glory.
22. 机场遇故
她从桌的对面笑眯眯地望着我，她的眼中调皮着一种浅浅的酒的醉意。她说，怎么样，不肯给人面子呀，大老板？但不知道为何，我望着她，突然语塞，我沉默了。
Bumping into old friends in the airport
She was looking at me with a smile across the table. Her mischievous eyes carried some slight drunkenness. She said, can’t you give somebody the honor, high roller?
I didn’t know why, but I was only staring at her, suddenly lost for words. I fell into silence.
23. 世界，从秀秀的眼中呈现出来
那时，他们一家三口就是这样温馨而满足地生活在用这套家具布置出来的二室户的老式工房里。哪一天，等秀秀结了婚，有了孩子，成了个中年妇人，当她也向她的孩子们讲述起她的童年往事的时候，那套亚光柚木贴面的家具便无形之中成为了她的故事的背景编织材料了，就像那幢红砖老洋房，那座拱型门窗和室内露台在她母亲的记忆中所占的位置相类似。
The world spreading out in Xiu Xiu’ s eyes.
At that time, their family of three were living in that old-fashioned two-room apartment, happy and content. When one day Xiu Xiu gets married, and she herself becomes a mother, and a middle-aged woman, when she tells a story to her own children, that set of teak-skimmed furniture will become the background of her story, just as the redbrick old house, the arc window and the balcony were deeply embedded in her mother’s memories.
24. 那个香港之夜，那个香港之午
现在，兆正正向公路旁的一座半开放式的电话亭走去，他想通过电话筒向雨萍讲的第一句话也就是这同一句话；他还想问她说：还记得吗？十年前的那个下午，在香港君悦酒店的大堂咖啡厅里，海水与天空是那么蓝，阳光是那么地耀眼，那么地好。
That night in Hong Kong, and that noon in Hong Kong
Now, Zhao Zheng is walking towards a half open telephone booth on the roadside. The first words he wants to say through the mouthpiece of the phone are the same words he said before. He also wants to ask her, do you still remember that afternoon ten years ago in the lobby cafe of the Grand Hotel, the sea and the sky were so blue, and the sunshine was so bright, and so cozy?
25. 有一幅照片站立在梳妆矮柜上，正面对着大床
突然，湛玉都很想知道这一切。而直觉更告诉她：虽然在眼前，雨萍还成不了她的对手，但将来？将来的事，谁也说不清。
A photo was standing on the low dressing table, facing the huge bed
All of a sudden, Zhan Yu wanted to know all of this. Her hunch further told her, at the moment, Yu Ping couldn’t be her rival; but what about in the future? Nobody could tell what will happen in the future.
26. “SOMEWHERE IN TIME”
雨萍拖着腿回到家中，心情沮丧得几乎想大哭一场——于她，这是很少有的事。多少年后，当她第一次隐隐约约地听说兆正表哥最近与他同班的一位女同学有如何如何往来的时候，她几乎能够在第一时间里就肯定：所谓她，就是她。
“Somewhere In Time”
Yu Ping dragged her legs home, and her heart was so grief-stricken that she really wanted to cry hard. For her, such things had rarely happened before. After so many years, when she first heard about Cousin Zhao Zheng being recently together with a girl, she could almost ascertain immediately, the girl must be her.
27. 宝大西餐厅里的白老师以及谁
内座上的光线很暗，有一条湖绿色的泡泡沙长裙的裙边在飘动。但立刻，她前行的脚步停住了。她畏缩地朝后退去，仿佛占据那张棕皮高背卡座的不是两个人，而是两条巨大的蟒蛇！
Mr. Bai in the Bao Da Restaurant with somebody else
The light was very dim in the inner seat. She saw the edges of a long soft green skirt fluttering. All of a sudden, her moving steps stopped, and she started to move backwards with fear as if the occupants of that seat were two huge snakes instead of two people.
28. 同是那个晚春的黄昏天：时空的另一个切面
她拿着一本一九五六年人民文学版的《安娜》重新回到自己的床上，躺下。她想，毕竟这才是一本真正属于她的书。就当她百无聊赖地翻动着书页，情绪还没来得及完全进入其中时，她听见，门铃响了。
The same dusk in late spring: another side of the Time and Space
She was taking a copy of Anna Karenina published in 1956 by People’s Literature Publishing House back to her bed. She laid down thinking that was a book that really belonged to her. She was flipping the pages and her mood could hardly get into it when she heard a doorbell.
29. 独行，在香港太平山顶的山道上
这些臆想有梦的成分也有现实的。我又一次地混淆了自己的角色和立场，我究竟是“他”还仍然是我自己？我生活在之前，之中，之后？我在记录着一个真实事件？在讲一个故事？在继续着一篇小说的创作？还是……？
Walking alone along the path on the upper Peace Mount in Hong Kong……
Such imagination is embedded with both dream and reality. I once again got confused with my role and stand. Am I now HE or still myself? Am I living prior to, or in the middle of, or after? Am I recording a truth event, or telling a story, or continuing to write a fiction, or……？
30. 算不上是真相的真相
就这么个亮点，或者说黑洞，构成了兆正对于事件的全部反应与报复。
The truth untold
It was the spotlight, or the black hole that constituted Zhao Zheng’s complete response to and revenge on this event.
31. 尾声
有时，人生的缘分有点像七巧拼版，盈缺凹凸，这一个人此一刻的镶入处正是那一个人那一刻的凹缺处。
The coda
Sometimes the fate of human relationship is just like a chessboard, or a jigsaw puzzle. Each piece has something more that another has less.
· · · · · · (收起)