珊·凯恩,毕业于普林斯顿大学和哈佛法学院。曾经是华尔街律师,现从事谈判、沟通技巧教育。她在内向、羞怯等主题上的文章经常发表于《纽约时报》和《今日心理学在线》。
译者简介:
高洁,生于山东,于香港城市大学获得传播与新媒体硕士;翻译爱好者,公关业中人。
At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.
Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."
This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.
Q: Why did you write the book?
A: For the same reason that Betty Friedan published The Feminine Mystique in 1963. Introverts are to extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. Our schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for extroverts, and many introverts believe that there is something wrong with them and that they should try to “pass” as extroverts. The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately, happiness.
Q: What personal significance does the subject have for you?
A: When I was in my twenties, I started practicing corporate law on Wall Street. At first I thought I was taking on an enormous challenge, because in my mind, the successful lawyer was comfortable in the spotlight, whereas I was introverted and occasionally shy. But I soon realized that my nature had a lot of advantages: I was good at building loyal alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I could close my door, concentrate, and get the work done well; and like many introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions and listen intently to the answers, which is an invaluable tool in negotiation. I started to realize that there’s a lot more going on here than the cultural stereotype of the introvert-as-unfortunate would have you believe. I had to know more, so I spent the past five years researching the powers of introversion.
Q: Was there ever a time when American society valued introverts more highly?
A: In the nation’s earlier years it was easier for introverts to earn respect. America once embodied what the cultural historian Warren Susman called a “Culture of Character,” which valued inner strength, integrity, and the good deeds you performed when no one was looking. You could cut an impressive figure by being quiet, reserved, and dignified. Abraham Lincoln was revered as a man who did not “offend by superiority,” as Emerson put it.
Q: You discuss how we can better embrace introverts in the workplace. Can you explain?
A: Introverts thrive in environments that are not overstimulating—surroundings in which they can think (deeply) before they speak. This has many implications. Here are two to consider: (1) Introverts perform best in quiet, private workspaces—but unfortunately we’re trending in precisely the opposite direction, toward open-plan offices. (2) If you want to get the best of all your employees’ brains, don’t simply throw them into a meeting and assume you’re hearing everyone’s ideas. You’re not; you’re hearing from the most vocally assertive people. Ask people to put their ideas in writing before the meeting, and make sure you give everyone time to speak.
Q: Quiet offers some terrific insights for the parents of introverted children. What environment do introverted kids need in order to thrive, whether it’s at home or at school?
A: The best thing parents and teachers can do for introverted kids is to treasure them for who they are, and encourage their passions. This means: (1) Giving them the space they need. If they need to recharge alone in their room after school instead of plunging into extracurricular activities, that’s okay. (2) Letting them master new skills at their own pace. If they’re not learning to swim in group settings, for example, teach them privately. (3) Not calling them “shy”--they’ll believe the label and experience their nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion they can learn to control.
Q: What are the advantages to being an introvert?
A: There are too many to list in this short space, but here are two seemingly contradictory qualities that benefit introverts: introverts like to be alone--and introverts enjoy being cooperative. Studies suggest that many of the most creative people are introverts, and this is partly because of their capacity for quiet. Introverts are careful, reflective thinkers who can tolerate the solitude that idea-generation requires. On the other hand, implementing good ideas requires cooperation, and introverts are more likely to prefer cooperative environments, while extroverts favor competitive ones.
朋友们绝不认为我是个内向者,或许因为我笑点低,说话很大声,有点凶巴巴,对人很强势。 于是我也自认为我是外向者。 似乎潜意识里,都认为内向就是个贬义词,意味着胆小,怯懦,不善交际。显然我离以上还是有一段距离的。 但是渐渐地,看过的书,认识的人,经历过事情的越来越...
评分“你知道我别无所求,只想有个安静的环境写写东西”,当我在校园里来来回回,来来回回地走,心心念念,心心念念地只有这句话。我不知道看起来偌大的校园,我要去哪里才能找到,才能找到一处没有白天和黑夜,没有喧嚣和吵闹,没有成群结队,没有熟人朋友的地方,任由我高兴就写...
评分朋友们绝不认为我是个内向者,或许因为我笑点低,说话很大声,有点凶巴巴,对人很强势。 于是我也自认为我是外向者。 似乎潜意识里,都认为内向就是个贬义词,意味着胆小,怯懦,不善交际。显然我离以上还是有一段距离的。 但是渐渐地,看过的书,认识的人,经历过事情的越来越...
评分这本书并没有让内向的人变得更不焦虑,举得例子也缺乏说服力,但是告诉了内向的人,你就是这样的人,在社交场合表现得如外向人一样,是费力不讨好的事情,接受自己吧。多希望在我的大学时期可以看到这本书,这样对于课堂发言小组讨论这些事情,就不用先纠结半天说什么,然后要...
评分首先这本书对我的帮助却是很大,对我自己而言,至少是我自己认为,如果用1-10来评定我的内向倾向的话我想没有9也有8,从小我就清楚知道自己是那么与众不同,我是天生的introvert,在这本书里头所说的所有introvert的特征我没有不中枪的,但这本书却是让我重新审视自己的...
explains so much about me, my american experience, very illuminating!
评分内向的人也会有外向的一面,会爱小聚也爱独处。内向只是一种摄取能量的方式,这方式来源于自洽和自省。内向多一些的人和外向多一些的人结合起来就会是“together we are more”,二元性互相观照彼此。
评分这世界真的都对外向的人看起。内向的人往往都被忽略。可是更善于观察的他们,真的会发表一击毙命的言论/想法。
评分So what's important really is that our egos and self-esteem builds when we know ourselves better and we become more comfortable with who we are, whatsoever. We do need such books that make us introverts at ease when the rest of the world advocates extroverted qualities.
评分也是到读self help书的年纪了
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