Synopsis

Using examples both from the author's own past and the stories of those he has helped and counselled over the years, this text aims to help the reader understand and interpret their family better, and break down the communication barrier which has built up between family members.

From Publishers Weekly

Aiming at John Bradshaw's audience of adults seeking to reconcile relationships with their original families, Bryan's self-help program draws on sophisticated psychological and spiritual concepts and the work of such thinkers as Murray Bowen and James Hillman. Bryan (The Prodigal Father; coauthor of The Artist's Way at Work) believes that individuals can enhance present relationships and self-understanding by viewing family dynamics from a mature perspective, which he calls "changing the past." He teaches that understanding and forgiveness lie in reframing difficult experiences (short of real abuse) as sources of growth and strength. Offering numerous exercises to spur the process, he urges readers to map their family's "story line," to examine "codes" of communication and behavior and to fathom the motivations of other family members. (His useful checklist for going home for the holidays is bound to attract media attention.) Personal stories enliven the text, but none are as affecting as that of the author's own estrangement from his rural West Virginia family. Recalling a time in his 20s when he was desperate for money and his father refused to help, Bryan reframes the experience as a character-building lesson about resourcefulness and self-reliance. His approach is intelligent and compassionate, although his seriousness and the intensive process he espouses may overwhelm the general self-help reader. Agent, David Vigliano.

From Library Journal

This book is not another empty self-help book but a workbook for studious, quiet thought and analysis. Bryan (The Prodigal Father) draws on his personal struggles in his efforts to create a self-guided program of reflections for the reader. The director of the Father Project in Los Angeles and the product of a troubled family, Bryan offers a lot of insight into family conflict. "All those years I had been estranged," he muses, "my father and I had been speaking different languages but trying to say the same thing." He suggests four basic steps to help you see your way home: "Remember, Reflect, Re-frame, and Reconnect." Although these ideas have been espoused countless times in self-help literature, Bryan's thoughtful exercises and writing put a new spin on reframing relationships. Trying to answer the in-depth questions in the introduction alone could take a weekend of solitary reflection. For large public, academic, and specialized collections.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　--- Susan E. Burdick, MLS, Reading, PA

Book Dimension

Height (mm) 215 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Width (mm) 135