具体描述
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, the best-selling relationship book of all time- over seven million copies sold world wide to date- in a freshly designed new format. Learn how to create understanding and communication between the sexes from this classic and authoritative guide.
First published in 1993, this book has become an international publishing phenomenon and is one of the most famous non-fiction publications of all time. A lively and accessible guide to successful communication between the sexes that has already helped many millions of readers from across the globe understand why members of the opposite sex behave the way they do, this new edition contains all the text of the original, including: • what makes members of the opposite sex tick • how to understand their verbal and non-verbal language • how to motivate the opposite sex and get what you want • how to avoid arguments and promote fruitful communication • how to score points with the opposite sex and impress your partner • the real emotional needs of the opposite sex and the behaviours associated with these needs • how to keep love alive and stay together long term This authoritative guide will help you reach a point of harmony and understanding where both sexes can live, work and love together.
Why Mars and Venus Collide
From John Gray, author of the phenomenal 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’, comes an outstanding new book for men and women seeking lasting love in the face of modern pressures. Writing with both humour and empathy, he offers practical solutions to common points of conflict and gives clear ways forward for greater intimacy and trust.
With 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' John Gray changed the lives and relationships of millions people around the world. He helped men and women accept just how different from each other they really are – and, more importantly, how to work with these differences to enjoy closer, lasting and more fulfilling relationships. In 'Mars and Venus Collide' Gray looks at how the pressures of our modern work-oriented lifestyles are putting added stress on our relationships and making it harder and harder for them to work out long term. Men and women deal with stress in different ways and their different needs often lead to misunderstandings, miscommunication and resentment – in short, Mars and Venus collide. Bringing Mars and Venus into the 21st century, Gray explores the different ways men and women approach their problems and offers a clear, easy-to-understand programme to bridge the gap. For example, a man's reticence when he is under pressure is actually a natural way for him to rebuild much-needed stress-reducing testosterone from his depleted system. Equally, a woman's need for conversation and support when she is overwhelmed stems from a hardwired need for cooperative activities to rebuild her own stress-reducing hormone, oxytocin. It's not that he's just not into you – he needs to fulfil a biological need. And it's not that she means to pester you – she is also biologically driven. Written with his signature insight and humour, Gray's classically unconventional approach will empower men and women alike to adapt to their new roles in our modern work-driven society without compromising the intimacy and lasting love everybody craves and needs.
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我不得不承认，这本书的行文节奏把握得相当不错，读起来非常顺畅，几乎没有需要我停下来反复咀嚼才能理解的概念。它采用了大量的案例分析，而且这些案例都非常贴近日常生活，比如周末的家务分配，或者看电视时遥控器的争夺权，这些琐碎的场景构建出了一个非常真实的伴侣互动图景。作者的语言非常亲切，就像一个经验丰富的邻家大姐在给你分享她的人生智慧，没有那种高高在上的学术腔调。但这股“亲切”也带来了一个问题：深度。很多时候，我感觉作者只是轻轻地拂过了一个复杂问题的表面，然后迅速地抛出一个“平衡点”的结论就过去了。比如在讨论“个人空间与共同时间”的平衡时，我期待的是关于边界感、占有欲的哲学探讨，或者至少是一些极端的、需要打破常规的解决方案，但它给出的却是一种非常中庸的、大家都舒服但可能谁都不够尽兴的折中方案。阅读体验上是愉悦的，一气呵成，但合上书本之后，大脑里留下的“干货”却很少，更多的是一种“嗯，原来大家都是这样啊”的宽慰感，而不是“啊，我应该这样做”的顿悟。它更像是一杯加了糖的温开水，解渴，但缺乏回味。
评分这本书，说实话，我拿到手的时候是有点失望的。封面设计得挺……怎么说呢，有点老套，那种红蓝对撞的色彩，很容易让人联想到那些泛泛而谈的两性关系指南。我本来是冲着“2for1 Pack”这个名头去的，期待能有什么深度挖掘或者创新的视角，结果翻开目录，一股熟悉的“他怎么想，她怎么想”的套路感扑面而来。内容上，前半部分几乎都在重复一些已经被嚼烂了的观点，比如男性注重实用性，女性更看重情感连接，这些在任何一本入门级的心理学读物里都能找到。举个例子，书中花了整整三章来讨论“沟通的障碍”，但提供的解决方案无非是“多倾听”、“使用‘我’的句式”这种教科书式的建议。我尝试着去寻找一些能够立刻应用于我目前生活困境的“干货”，但几乎没有。它更像是一本给情侣关系新手准备的入门读物，对于那些已经经历了数次磨合、对彼此脾气秉性了如指掌的伴侣来说，价值有限。我更希望看到的是如何处理那些深层次的、根植于原生家庭背景的冲突，而不是停留在表面如何优雅地表达需求。整本书的基调过于温和、过于理想化，缺乏对现实中复杂人性的深刻剖析和挑战。
评分这本书最让我感到困扰的一点是，它似乎更倾向于“关系维护”而非“关系成长”。它教会你如何将现有关系修复到“正常运作”的状态，如何避免争吵，如何满足彼此的基础需求。这固然重要，但对于那些已经拥有稳定基础，正在寻求更高层次情感连接，希望突破平台期，实现共同自我超越的伴侣来说，这本书的指导意义非常有限。它提供的是如何把一辆跑车维护好，让它不抛锚，但没有教你如何改装引擎，让它跑得更快、更远。我寻找的是关于如何共同面对中年危机、如何处理代际冲突、如何将伴侣关系作为个人成长的催化剂的深度思考。这本书的视角太侧重于“安逸区”的维持，缺乏对“冲突”和“挑战”的积极拥抱。它将冲突视为需要避免的负面事件，而不是双方磨合、进化过程中不可或缺的“压力测试”。因此，如果你期望从书中找到如何将你的伴侣关系提升到新的维度、共同攀登情感高峰的蓝图，你可能会感到失落，因为它更像是一份详尽的、关于如何保持现状的说明书。
评分从装帧和印刷质量来看，这是一本制作精良的实体书。纸张手感不错，字体排版清晰，阅读起来眼睛很舒服，长时间阅读也不会感到疲劳。这本书的插图部分也是一个亮点，那些用极简线条勾勒出的男女形象，虽然依旧延续了那种略显俗套的对比，但在视觉上传达信息的效果是直接且高效的。然而，内容层面的“精良”却未能跟上“制作”的精良程度。我买这本书很大程度上是希望它能提供一些前沿的、基于现代神经科学或社会学最新研究的洞察，毕竟两性关系的研究也在不断发展。但书中所引用的数据和理论似乎停留在上个世纪末的经典理论上，缺乏对当代科技发展（比如社交媒体对亲密关系的影响，远程工作带来的新型依赖关系）的探讨。它像一个温和的、停留在黄金时代的伴侣指南，对于生活在21世纪信息爆炸时代下的我们来说，显得有些疏离。我需要的是能应对“数字焦虑”和“选择泛滥”带来的亲密关系挑战的智慧，而不是那些关于“如何写感谢卡”的细枝末节。
评分这本书在结构上展现出一种强烈的二元对立倾向，这使得它在试图解释复杂现象时显得有些刻板。我注意到，书中总是习惯性地将两性行为模式归类到两个泾渭分明的象限中去，仿佛只要套入“火星”或“金星”的标签，所有问题都能迎刃而解。然而，现实世界是流动的、灰色的。我自己的经历就完全无法用这种简单分类法来概括。比如，我在处理财务决策时，表现得像传统认知中的“金星”角色——注重细节和安全感，而在规划旅行和冒险时，却又表现出极强的“火星”式的果断和掌控欲。这本书似乎没有给我提供一个工具箱来理解这种“跨界”的行为模式，而是倾向于让你在二者中选择一个更符合你性别的倾向。这让整个理论框架显得有点脆弱和过时。我期待的是一个更具包容性的、承认个体差异大于性别差异的视角，一个能够容纳“跨性别”行为模式的复杂模型。这本书的优点在于提供了基础的对话框架，但它的局限性在于强行将人类的情感和决策过程扁平化了。
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