哈麗雅特·布萊剋
有逾25年的執業臨床心理醫生和管理顧問經驗。她創作瞭許多暢銷的心理自助類書籍,包括紐約《時代》雜誌的暢銷書《取悅癥:不懂拒絕的老好人》和《誰在操縱你》等。
What's wrong with being a "people pleaser?" Plenty! "A fascinating book...If you struggle with where, when, and how to draw the line between your own desires and the demands of others, buy this book!"--Kay Redfield Jamison, bestselling author of An Unquiet Mind and Night Falls Fast People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage. Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent "Oprah" guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery. Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome. As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.
一个成年人的认知往往从小时候就被决定,父母则是灌输小孩认知的第一任老师。 小孩子需要取悦别人,这样才能得到好处,比如糖果,零钱什么的,于是这种思想常常会伴随自己一直到成熟到独立。如果工作时还想着如何取悦别人,这就被孩童时代的思想蒙蔽,迫害。 人不为己,天诛...
評分很多老好人看似是对每个人都很好,其实其在内心是忽略了每个人的. 我们只有先用心对待自己,才可能更有效地帮助他人. 作为一个人,我们很多时候都在服从,在丧失了自我之后,我们已经丢掉了精神的最有效寄托. 我们应该从自己的内心开始, 通过本书的分析来引导自己走出来.
評分让所有人都满意,你就失去了自己 世界上有一种人,无论他们多忙, 只要对方邀请或提出请求, 即便这会给自己带来高昂的成本和不愉快, 他们都毫无原则照单全收。 而在违心的委屈自己之后,他们内心并不快乐,甚至常常懊悔不已。 然而奇怪的是,每当下次遇到类似的情况,他们还...
評分 評分為瞭得到父母的愛,避免被拒絕或拋棄,孩子隻好將自己原本的需求和願望壓低,讓它們變得不再重要,轉而去努力實現父母那些明確提齣的或隱含的期望,甚至內化這些期望,以父母的需求來替代自己的。漸漸地,他們就會成為討好父母的小孩。
评分要學會對事不對人
评分為瞭得到父母的愛,避免被拒絕或拋棄,孩子隻好將自己原本的需求和願望壓低,讓它們變得不再重要,轉而去努力實現父母那些明確提齣的或隱含的期望,甚至內化這些期望,以父母的需求來替代自己的。漸漸地,他們就會成為討好父母的小孩。
评分取悅癥
评分很實用的書,寫得平易近人,可操作性好,但切不可沉迷在這本書所構造的世界中,這本書隻描繪瞭與人交往的一個發那個麵,帶著這些經驗重新迴到社會,豐滿地繼續生活可能纔是作者真正想看到的
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