UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING Moving from Rewards and Pu pdf epub mobi txt 电子书 下载 2025
Alfie Kohn is the author of nine previous books, including Punished by Rewards and The Schools Our Children Deserve, that have helped to shape the thinking of parents and educators across the country and abroad. He lectures widely and lives (actually) with his family in the Boston are and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org.
- 育儿
- Parenting
- 英文原版
- 教育
- 心理学
- 教育理念
- Education
- 家庭
Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need - and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that quetion are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.
One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.
More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
具体描述
读后感
看了前三章，心情很沉重。作者说的有条件养育我深有体会，因为爸爸就是这样教育我们的。我现在已经当妈了，近三十的人了，但还是能很清晰的记得，读中学的时候爸爸是怎么教育的。人生中两次重要的考试，初中升高中和高中升大学，我成绩不稳，模拟考都考得很烂，爸爸就绷着个脸...
评分很多时候我们在和孩子相处过程中依靠的是一种惯性，依靠着是自己身上从父辈身上承袭下的经验；却很少静下来反思一下这些方式都是对的吗？特别很多时候我们在生活的轨道上疲于应付，孩子往往成了导致情绪崩溃的最后一根稻草。我们会咆哮，会愤怒，会后悔，会懊恼，但下次周而复...
评分想要把孩子养育的好，绝非易事，本书也确实没有给出任何具体的办法。就像作者说的一样，养育孩子没有死的教条的办法，每个小孩都是独立的，个性的。 读前半本书的时候，我一直在问一个问题，如果不能惩罚，不能表扬，那我怎么办，碰到孩子不听话，哭闹，耍脾气的时候，不能这样...
评分感觉是白左那一套，鼓吹父母和儿童要平权。 一、不能惩罚 1.1. 体罚不用说了 1.2. 批评是精神惩罚 1.3 连被普遍接受的timeout，即犯错之后双规自省，都被质疑为“爱的剥夺” 二、不能赞赏 2.1 物质奖励，是过早把市场机制引入家庭，谈钱伤感情，扭曲心理。 2.2 口头表扬，潜台...
评分所有父母对孩子都是有爱的，但怎么爱，通过什么样的方式去爱，不是每个人都能从开始就选择正确的路径的。 我们被养育的过程中，一般都会被赋予各种各样的象征意义，比如要拿第一，比如要给父母争光，比如。。。 所以，全部摒弃自己受到而内化的经验，是一件不容易的事，毕竟几...
用户评价
One of the best parenting books I've ever read. Answered most of my questions regarding discipline. I have changed my old practices and need to revise my previous writings.
评分一，作为父母，无条件地爱孩子，是由于ta是你的孩子，而不是由于ta做了哪些可以让你自豪的事。这种无条件的爱，既不是溺爱，也不是对你的孩子市恩市义（所谓养育之恩，即属市恩市义）。二，做出恰当决定的能力需要从幼年一点点培养、历练，并让孩子了解每一项决定都与责任的承担有关。学习做出恰当决定的途径，恰恰是通过做决定本身，而非通过听从他人指导。三，要有勇气、有能力面对和质疑自己的养育经历以及被养育的经历。是的，人通常不愿意质疑自己、质疑自己亲近的人，尤其是自己父母。但谁都不是完人，包括你和你父母，所以，只要用心，一定会找到可以改进的地方，使自己变得更好并尝试做更好的父母。
评分车轱辘话翻来倒去的说，真的很佩服老外。不过这个概念我非常接受
评分One of the best parenting books I've ever read. Answered most of my questions regarding discipline. I have changed my old practices and need to revise my previous writings.
评分One of the best parenting books I've ever read. Answered most of my questions regarding discipline. I have changed my old practices and need to revise my previous writings.
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