UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING Moving from Rewards and Pu pdf epub mobi txt 电子书 下载 2025
Alfie Kohn is the author of nine previous books, including Punished by Rewards and The Schools Our Children Deserve, that have helped to shape the thinking of parents and educators across the country and abroad. He lectures widely and lives (actually) with his family in the Boston are and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org.
- 育儿
- Parenting
- 英文原版
- 教育
- 心理学
- 教育理念
- Education
- 家庭
Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need - and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that quetion are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.
One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.
More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
具体描述
读后感
有多少父母都举着爱的大旗对孩子的心灵造成创伤和痛苦？有多少家长在不知不觉中把自己自卑，挫败，虚荣和焦虑传染给了孩子？不看这本书，我几乎要忘了自己曾经走过的心路。我知道有时候时间是治愈一切的良药，没人喜欢自揭伤疤重温过去。但其实没有什么过去和未来，当下发...
评分 评分《无条件养育》的作者认为应当慎用表扬，就如同慎用批评一样，孩子不应该因为做某事而被爱，应该因为他们是孩子而被爱。行为主义的方法如同驯狗，将食物、玩具、表扬（或者说成人的喜爱）作为奖励和惩罚的手段，使年幼的孩子时时生活担心自己会受表扬还是批评的巨大压力...
评分没有任何一种教育方式适合所有的孩子， 在看了大量的育儿书籍后，那些教育上的技巧在刚开始被建立，后来又逐渐被推翻，比如在《超级育儿师》系列节目被频繁用到的"time out"(爱的暂停）方法曾经红极一时，后来又出现大量的理论和实例去推翻这种做法。 因为有这种经历的孩子为...
评分做了2年多爸爸以后，我越来越质疑自己对孩子的教育理念，正是起于感觉到自己频繁使用“胡萝卜+大棒” 。举个例子，每天早上孩子刷牙洗脸是件很折磨的事情，明明3分钟就可以完成的，总要托个半小时。时间来得及时还好，早上如果要上课或者出去，就很容易起冲突。 我之前的解决方...
用户评价
一，作为父母，无条件地爱孩子，是由于ta是你的孩子，而不是由于ta做了哪些可以让你自豪的事。这种无条件的爱，既不是溺爱，也不是对你的孩子市恩市义（所谓养育之恩，即属市恩市义）。二，做出恰当决定的能力需要从幼年一点点培养、历练，并让孩子了解每一项决定都与责任的承担有关。学习做出恰当决定的途径，恰恰是通过做决定本身，而非通过听从他人指导。三，要有勇气、有能力面对和质疑自己的养育经历以及被养育的经历。是的，人通常不愿意质疑自己、质疑自己亲近的人，尤其是自己父母。但谁都不是完人，包括你和你父母，所以，只要用心，一定会找到可以改进的地方，使自己变得更好并尝试做更好的父母。
评分一，作为父母，无条件地爱孩子，是由于ta是你的孩子，而不是由于ta做了哪些可以让你自豪的事。这种无条件的爱，既不是溺爱，也不是对你的孩子市恩市义（所谓养育之恩，即属市恩市义）。二，做出恰当决定的能力需要从幼年一点点培养、历练，并让孩子了解每一项决定都与责任的承担有关。学习做出恰当决定的途径，恰恰是通过做决定本身，而非通过听从他人指导。三，要有勇气、有能力面对和质疑自己的养育经历以及被养育的经历。是的，人通常不愿意质疑自己、质疑自己亲近的人，尤其是自己父母。但谁都不是完人，包括你和你父母，所以，只要用心，一定会找到可以改进的地方，使自己变得更好并尝试做更好的父母。
评分车轱辘话翻来倒去的说，真的很佩服老外。不过这个概念我非常接受
评分One of the best parenting books I've ever read. Answered most of my questions regarding discipline. I have changed my old practices and need to revise my previous writings.
评分One of the best parenting books I've ever read. Answered most of my questions regarding discipline. I have changed my old practices and need to revise my previous writings.
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