埃尔菲•科恩,美国知名育儿作家、教育学者,已出版9部深具影响力的育儿著作,包括《奖励的惩罚》(Punished by Rewards)及《真正的学校》(The School Our Children Deserve),其提出的某些育儿观念在国内外儿童教育界极富影响力。
译者:小巫,著名儿童教育专家。毕业于北京大学,美国Rutgers大学教育学硕士,国际母乳会哺乳辅导,美国父母效能训练课程(P.E.T.)英文讲师。著有《让孩子做主》、《给孩子自由》、《和孩子划清界限》、《跟上孩子成长的脚步》、《接纳孩子》、《成功渡过母爱第一关》及《小巫厨房蜜语》等畅销书籍。担任中央电视台、中国教育电视台和中央人民广播电台等多家媒体的长期嘉宾专家、全国妇联心系新生命组委会特聘专家、清华大学特聘讲师、清华优佳教育家长研习顾问,被国外媒体誉为“中国的斯波克博士”。
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Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need -- and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting -- including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
很多时候我们在和孩子相处过程中依靠的是一种惯性,依靠着是自己身上从父辈身上承袭下的经验;却很少静下来反思一下这些方式都是对的吗?特别很多时候我们在生活的轨道上疲于应付,孩子往往成了导致情绪崩溃的最后一根稻草。我们会咆哮,会愤怒,会后悔,会懊恼,但下次周而复...
评分没有任何一种教育方式适合所有的孩子, 在看了大量的育儿书籍后,那些教育上的技巧在刚开始被建立,后来又逐渐被推翻,比如在《超级育儿师》系列节目被频繁用到的"time out"(爱的暂停)方法曾经红极一时,后来又出现大量的理论和实例去推翻这种做法。 因为有这种经历的孩子为...
评分有多少父母都举着爱的大旗对孩子的心灵造成创伤和痛苦?有多少家长在不知不觉中把自己自卑,挫败,虚荣和焦虑传染给了孩子?不看这本书,我几乎要忘了自己曾经走过的心路。我知道有时候时间是治愈一切的良药,没人喜欢自揭伤疤重温过去。但其实没有什么过去和未来,当下发...
评分所有父母对孩子都是有爱的,但怎么爱,通过什么样的方式去爱,不是每个人都能从开始就选择正确的路径的。 我们被养育的过程中,一般都会被赋予各种各样的象征意义,比如要拿第一,比如要给父母争光,比如。。。 所以,全部摒弃自己受到而内化的经验,是一件不容易的事,毕竟几...
评分开篇是不错的,说了很多别的书籍没有说的东西,而且又是那么的正对我意。一直以来我都觉得子女对父母的爱来的更加无私,不管我的爸爸妈妈做了什么,我都会爱他们,因为他们是我的爸爸妈妈。甚至在我看电视看到坏人的时候,我都会假想一下,如果这个十恶不赦的人是我爸爸或者妈...
应该早点读的。
评分应该早点读的。
评分知不易,行更難。很對不起我的孩子。
评分应该早点读的。
评分科恩的几本书都很好,与无条件养育对应的是有条件养育,即小孩需要满足大人的特定需求,大人才会表现出爱孩子的行为/表情;其它情况下,会让孩子觉得你不爱他,
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